


Out of love

by ineffablecrier



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: A lot of kissing, Angst, Apologies, Canon Compliant, Episode Fix-it, Episode: s04e02 The Lying Detective, First Kiss, Fix-It, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Not much of a plot I just REALLY needed to fix this episode, Sad Sherlock, Saying Sorry, reference do Mary's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21891484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablecrier/pseuds/ineffablecrier
Summary: Sherlock kept in silence, his eyes on John's face. Tears started coming out of his eyes.Meanwhile, John slowly sat on the hospital bed and, hesitant, grabbed Sherlock's hand."Sherlock, I'm sorry."
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 104





	Out of love

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you all enjoy this fix-it fic that I made. 
> 
> It's also the first one I've ever wrote. I wanted to write one of these a long time ago. And this episode desperately needed a fix. So here you have. (I'm a non-English native, so I'm sorry for any weird grammar options.
> 
> Edit: I forgot to say the inspiration for this actually came to me by listening to a song by Anthony and the Johnsons called Fistful of Love.

He felt John's fist on his face yet again, but no pain at all. Well, no physical pain. His heart was breaking into a million pieces. But he felt no other kind of pain. His body was numb and blood ran down his face while John kept kicking him on his stomach. But he knew John had good reason for that.   
"Let him. He's entitled. I killed his wife." He managed to say, while somebody tried to stop John.  
He felt John's burning eyes burning holes straight through his heart. But he knew it was out of love.

  
"Yes. Yes, you did!"

  
His worst nightmare was happening. John hated him and there was no way back. Sherlock knew he would have to live the rest of his life without the only person he actually ever loved and with the guilt of having killed the most important person in his life. So, he knew John was hitting him out of love. Out of love for Mary. And he would just have to live with that.  
But not without saving him first.

*******

  
His plan had gone accordingly. John came to the hospital to save him from Culverton Smith. The serial killer had confessed to his crimes and was being taken by Lestrade. John stayed after everyone else left the room. It was just the two of them in the room now. Sherlock was still out of breath because of all the strangling. And he looked sad. Not just tired. He looked sad. John had never seen him like that. And all of a sudden he regretted ever having punched that magnificent face of his. The scars were still there. And the mere thought of having been him that put them there, was putting the weight of the planets on his heart. He felt so much regret. Sherlock did everything he could to save Mary. He knew that. He had killed Magnussen to save her from her own past. And yet, he blamed Sherlock for her death. That was very unfair and he was realising that now. The regret was unbearable and yet the words wouldn't come out. He didn't know where to start. Seeing Sherlock hurt and sad like that on that bed, just made his tears start coming out in silence. He couldn't avoid it.

  
"Why are you crying? Don't cry. We were just laughing now. Remember? I'm a cock!" Sherlock said with a tiny grin on his face, but somehow still looking sad.

  
"I'm sorry." His voice was failing him a little. "I'm sorry, Sherlock. I'm so, so sorry!" The tears were coming out faster and faster. He couldn't hold them back as much as he tried.

  
"John?" Sherlock was looking at his friend with distress. He'd never seen him crying like that; neither had he known how to deal with people crying. "John, I know you miss her. I know I made a vow. I should have protected her. I should have protected all three of you. I failed you, and I…"

  
"No, no, no. Shut up, Sherlock! Shut up! It's not your fault." He was shouting, visibly angry. "She chose to save your life. It's not your fault! You know that. And I know that. And I shouldn't have said the things I said to you. I shouldn't have blamed you."

  
Sherlock kept in silence, his eyes on John's face. Tears started coming out of his eyes.

Meanwhile, John slowly sat on the hospital bed and, hesitant, grabbed Sherlock's hand.

  
"Sherlock, I'm sorry. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm sorry for hitting you, I'm sorry for putting you in danger with this creepy psychopath. For Christ sake, you could have... You could have... again." He had to take a deep breath at this point, before continuing. "I'm sorry for blaming Mary's death on you. I'm sorry for any pain I've caused you. You're the person I care most about in the world, remember? Well, of course now there's Rosie." He grinned a little. "But I want her to grow up with you by her side. I want her to see you as a father." He stopped unsure of how to say the things that he always wanted to say. And he just finally said what his heart was tired of telling him to say all these years:

  
"Sherlock, I… I love you."

  
Sherlock was still silent. He didn't feel capable of saying anything at all. He couldn't believe his hears. This couldn't possibly be real. He was dreaming. Or in his mind palace. This wasn't real. So he just let his tears run down his face in silence, wordless.

  
"I'm sorry, Sherlock. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. My biggest regret is never having said this before. I love you, I love you, I love you."

And as he was saying this he approached Sherlock's teary face and started placing tiny kisses all over his face. Very softly, he kissed his forehead, his teary eyes, and his wonderful cheekbones. Their tears on each other's faces, making it impossible to know which ones belonged to whom. The only sound in the room was their sobbing and John's soft whispers.

  
John kept softly kissing Sherlock's face while both of them cried. A heavy pain on both of their hearts slowly disappearing. He kissed every inch of Sherlock's face while whispering "Sorry" in between kisses, until he finally got to the corner of Sherlock's mouth. And Sherlock, who until then was just processing all of this, eyes closed and face cold stoned, opened his eyes, grabbed John's face inside both of his hands, and looked deeply into John's eyes.

  
"I love you too, John. I always have." 

  
And, finally, they kissed. It was a long and soft kiss. A much awaited one. And they'd never known anything so right. And when it was over, John rested his forehead on Sherlock's. There was nothing left to say. They knew they didn't have anything else to apologize for. They knew they loved each other. And they knew from now on it would just be both of them against the rest of the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this and spell-checked it. That was it. I knew that if I read it too many times it would stop making sense to me, or I would want to make too many changes and I would end up not posting it. So, it is what it is.
> 
> Leave kudos and feedback on how to improve, please! I'd love to get better at this.


End file.
